Ratsofrass

One thing you have to say about Steve Ballmer is that he ain’t boring to watch on stage. But when you combine him with some goofy special effects to give him a Hitler hairstyle (Hair and moustache) and throw in some loose Nazi era speech synchs you get me LMAO. Sad to say it’s funnier because the parallels are too close for my comfort.

This was Mikey (or Michael, for formal occasions)

He passed away this last weekend, having spent the last few years in a good home where he had all the care and attention he every wanted or needed.

Mikey, in his working days, was in charge of patrolling the warehouse, making sure everyone knew he was keeping tabs on them, and making house calls on his preferred clients. Most of the rest of the day he would spend in his office, being cared for by his assistant, who despite her insistence on paying far too much attention to that strange box with pictures on glass thing, was a good egg who made sure the food bowl was full and lots of attention was paid to scratching and grooming assistance.

One of his clients was a particularly fine fellow to visit, as he always had a stash of ‘the stuff’, if you know what I mean. A trip over to his desk during the day for some socializing and tripping out was mandatory. Good times were had by all, although a long nap afterwards was in order to recover from the visit.

Sometimes Mikey would go on a covert mission, being gone for days at a time. No one knew where he went off to, but rumors abounded about missions to the far south (warehouse) to liberate the oppressed working masses there. Mikey had few regrets, other than never being able to nab one of those really large birds that invaded his outside turf every spring.

Mikey will be missed by all whom had the good fortune to know him, he was a king among cats, and like all good kings, not soon forgotten.

Calgary has the distinction of being one of the few places in the world where you can go “WTF?” when reading a weather forecast. I give you tonight’s forecast:

It would seem that from the -18 C we are right now, it is going to rise to +2 C by midnight, with a wind chill of -25 this evening, then the temperature is supposed to fall to -11 C by Tuesday afternoon. Sometimes the weather in Calgary is so ass-backwards I don’t even know what the hell is up and I’m born ‘n bred here!

Still recovering from laughing. Too bad I can’t buy one.

Tiny Car Review

Need more Top Gear!

Still can’t embed videos worth shit!

Yet another post on the C Trains. Here I am yet again on a packed train and lo, what happens as we hit the zoo stop - another train problem. This is like the third time - I’m beginning to suspect some bad train karma coming from that station. It’s the usual - door that won’t stay closed. You never heard about the last one because the operator got it closed in short order.

This time it’s a little different again. Trains were running late today - not like it happens all the time, but it is becoming more frequent these days. I didn’t even try to get on the first train downtown as it was packed already without me trying to squeeze on. The next train was possible to get on, but was packed by the time we got to the end of downtown, with all the people who had not been able to get on the previous train.

We get to the (cursed?) zoo stop and the train sits there. The usual “please stand clear of the open doors” announcement heralds the beginning of the problems. The usual play commences - operator comes down to see what is happening. I can’t really see what’s going on this time, but since I’ve seen it twice now I can only assume its some variant of door goes open / door goes closed. The operator goes back to his cab in front.

I expect the usual - cycle the door open lights, perhaps the power on the train again, but no - this guy has to subscribe to a different fixit camp. You know that standard technique to fix all things, if you be without tools, time or energy? Just give the item at hand a good wack and hope it fixes things. Well, this guy suddenly wrenches the train forward, and brings it to an equally quick halt, tossing us about inside like a Caesar salad. He didn’t even turn the light off on the doors first, which for veteran riders means get ready for the jolt that comes when the newer model of trains get going.

So I’m standing there pissed off - moving my sore shoulder about to assess the damage (no lawsuit this time) when the operator comes on and asks the people in the back by the possessed door to try it again. After a short pause, door lights go off and the train lurches forward.

I guess that old ‘whack the CD-ROM drive’ to get it reading again trick works on trains in some form too.

Last post here, I was witness to a C-train malfunction causing mayhem with the system. This time it was people breaking that leads to posting. Perhaps this will be a trend - every time I have a C-train story I post. I’m just glad not to be posting on that poor person that was pushed in front of a train - not something I ever need to see.
It was a late arrival at the station with a co-worker - just missed the previous train, but wasn’t in a particular big hurry at that point. When the next train arrives (not mine) some guy is blocking the door preventing it from closing. At first I think there is something wrong with the door (understandable considering my previous experience) then the C-Train operator comes over and goes in the train, ignoring the door entirely. Then I realize there is a guy seated just inside having a seizure of some sort. He didn’t seem in any immediate danger of dieing, but it was call the ambulance time and have him checked out. Awaiting the ambulance provided some side amusement. Watching people come madly sprinting up to the train and cram into whatever door was open at the time, then realize that they were going nowhere fast was amusing.
The paramedics arrive and check the guy out, then a couple go and get a stretcher as pictured. They carry the guy off the train onto the stretcher. He seemed okay, other than looking confused as to what was happening. What was interesting is that people were actually being courteous, trying to make room for the paramedics and get out of the way of their comings and goings. Nice to see some shreds of decency still exist in these parts. What else was interesting is that it only took 20 minutes from train stop to train resumption of service. Too bad it took the controllers over 15 minutes to get around to announcing that there was a delay.

Exploding whale stops traffic in Tainan, Taiwan

Well, there is only so bad that traffic can get in Calgary. At least we don’t have to contend with whales in transport exploding on the Deerfoot.

Although the concrete truck I saw overturned and spilling it’s load was probably harder to clean up.
You might not want to click the article if you’re sqeemish about guts.

So I suddenly find my self being asked permission to use my photos on some small media site, (nowpublic.com) in an article about a grandmother who was legally strong-armed by Syncrude to pull photos she had taken. I decided to check this out a little bit, to make sure I wasn’t aiding some crack-pot site/grandmother. Seems fine, other than I think Syncrude was justified in getting her to pull the photos. You see, she was on tour of the site, and they generally have bans on photos on the sites. I’m sure that taking photos while on a Syncrude tour is no different.

Well, when I pull up the nowpublic request to check it out, I find I have another email from a rental site, www.canadarentals.net. It seems the site owner would like to decorate his site with some photos of Ft. Sask, and he thinks mine are really nice. Considering what I wrote about the lack of beauty in Ft. Sask, and the general grey day I took the photos, I find this somewhat amusing, and ironic considering I thought the photos to be kinda blah.

Perhaps there is an angle here a photographer could use to make a career - find towns that have as little charm as possible and take the best photos you can there - businesses and the town government will be looking to buy your works to help spruce up their image.

Here is something interesting. Go and click somewhere on each of these 8 rectangles. Then view a score showing where you and other people clicked. Go run test now, come back and read rest.

.

..

(more…)

I was watching some old diggnation episodes and hear about a guy who is trying to perfect a flying squirrel suit that will allow him to jump out of a plane and fly to the ground, landing without a parachute. Looking for more details, I through some old digg posts talking about the flying dude. That leads me to another site with a second video of the same suit. Turns out to be a Top Gear clip:

A Porsche Cayenne Turbo S driving down a hill vs. flying guy jumping from a helicopter 10,000 ft above said hill, both racing to a finish at the bottom of the hill. You can’t make this stuff up. Keep in mind here that we are talking about a C$157,000 car here, when you watch the video. Insanity, but that is what the Top Gear people seem to do best. I have to admit, I was intrigued by the Porsche SUV - 0-60mph in 4.8 sec would certainly be fun to beat those punk ass kids driving the Mustangs, and 168mph means I could drive Calgary - Edmonton in under an hour, sans cops. Plus, as a bonus, the Porsche sucks gas like there is no tomorrow. Oh, and if you can’t afford the C$157k, there is a low end model for $60,100. It just has speed comparable to standard SUVs. I just can’t see why there aren’t more of these in Calgary, land of the SUV. I mean, people are just desperate to find places to burn their hard earned cash. Perhaps Porsche needs a few well targeted ads around here to get the word out.